Hello, new week of PC games! Hey, I thought you'd be taller. Ah, I see what's happened: the Maw has eaten Friday again, and swallowed next Monday for good measure. As ever, the normies are calling this a "bank holiday weekend". There are various festivities planned - apparently, some bunny has been running around laying chocolate eggs.

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Urgh! What's happening? The air feels dreadfully recycled all of a sudden. Food dissatisfies, music grates, punchlines flop like stunned seagulls - everything seems somehow overfamiliar. We have entered a Lull. There are few Big Games out this week - little in the way of Big Sequels or New IPs From Triple-A Veterans or other projects that make you say "oh! That one" - and the Maw is making up the shortfall by siphoning novelty from the building blocks of reality itself.

To the pumps, colleagues, before we become so jaded that our wrists and elbows lose all elasticity! There must be a meatier morsel down there. There must be a new PC game gargantuan enough to appease the creature.

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